‘Je M’apelle la Cumdog’: Best quotes from Jason Cummings’ A-Leagues All Access

Where do we even begin with A-Leagues All Access, episode 12: Why So Serious?

Jason Cummings, the Central Coast Mariners cult hero, was the star of this week’s show as the KEEPUP and JamTV cameras went behind the scenes with the Socceroos larrikin.



From a lost bet, an incredible Olivier Giroud message, tense Marcelo encounter and trip to the tattoo salon, A-Leagues All Access had it all. Viewers even got to see serious side of the Scottish-born Australia international.


In case you missed it, here are the best bits as it whets the appetite before the Mariners’ showdown with Isuzu UTE a-League rivals Sydney FC on Saturday night.

‘I love Turkey

The episode began with a meeting between Cummings and Mariners goalkeeper Yaren Sozer as the Central Coast star rolled into training.

Sozer immediately presented Cummings, who steps out of his car, with a costume after a failed bet.

“Yaren Sozer’s got the worst banter in the club,” he explained as he walked into Central Coast’s training facilities. “We done a bet – Turkey v Scotland. I had Scotland and the draw, he had Turkey to win.

“The loser needs to wear a costumer of whatever the other person picks.

“He’s brought me this… I don’t know what this is. I need to wear this for the rest of the day.

“I love Turkey!”

‘Je M’apelle la ‘Cumdog’?

Cummings couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he walked into the dressing room.

There was one thing on his mind.

“I got a message from Giroud this morning!” Cummings tells his Mariners teammates, as he walks into the change rooms ahead of another day on the training track.

“He messaged me on Insta… I’ll show you bro,” he stands in front of his French teammate, Beni N’Kololo. “I need you to translate!”

Cummings continued around the changeroom, greeting his teammates as he went. “I swear to god, he messaged me on Insta. Giroud, lad!

“I seen it this morning, I was like: ‘Oh f****’. I s*** myself. I thought someone was winding me up.”

Cummings finally made his way to his locker in the change room, his teammates formed a tight huddle around him as he opened up his phone to read aloud the message Giroud had left for him on Instagram that morning.

“Hi bro, what’s up? I’m sorry about the misunderstanding but Jackson asked me to swap shirts first.

“I wanted to keep my second jersey, which was symbolic for me because I just equalled Thierry Henry’s goal record in that game bro, winky face.” He says the last two words aloud as he reads on.

“Anyway, I would like to send you my (AC Milan) jersey if you’d like? Let me know man, take care. Oli G!”

The Mariners change room exploded into celebration. Cummings received a high five from teammate Dan Hall.

In the days and weeks after, he would receive Giroud’s Milan kit in the mail. And of course, Cummings repaid the favour by sending a Mariners kit of his own. 

A happy ending to the hilarious tale.

“What do I say in French, lads?” Cummings asks his teammates. “Je M’apelle la ‘Cumdog’?”

‘Has Ronaldo scored five in four against the Jets?!

Cummings was in brilliant form during an exchange with Mariners assistant coach Sergio Raimundo.

Nick Montgomery’s right-hand man Raimundo is from Portugal, and he wasted no time asking Cummings the all-important question after his meeting with Argentina superstar Lionel Messi at the FIFA Men’s World Cup.

“Did you tell Messi [Cristiano] Ronaldo is better than him?,” Raimundo said.

Cummings replied: “I told him man.

“Cristiano Ronaldo. Now Ronaldo is on All Access.

“Has Ronaldo scored five in four against the Jets?!… there you go, the stats don’t lie.”

‘Being with Giroud, Mbappe and then f****** coming training with yous

At Qatar 2022, Cummings was rubbing shoulders with France superstars Giroud and Kylian Mbappe, eventual champions Messi and Argentina. Just to name a few.

Back training with the Mariners, Cummings jokingly told his team-mates how he felt.

“PTB… it’s true, it’s a real thing. It’s f****** real. Post-tournament blues.

“Being with Giroud, Mbappe and then f****** coming training with yous. It’s a harsh reality.”

‘Zapparino, how are you mate?

What do you do after representing Australia at the World Cup? Get a tattoo, of course.

Already sporting an array of body ink, Cummings visited the local tattoo salon to pay homage to his cap number.

Not before a quick phone call to Socceroos World Cup media manager Michael Zappone.

“Zapparino, how are you mate? Mate, I’m just doing All Access now mate and I’m getting a tattoo,” Cummings started the call by saying.

“I’m getting your face, mate. Nah, I’m getting my cap number mate but I’m just double-checking. You know what my cap number was, don’t yah?”

“You could put us in the middle of China and we’d love it”

Moving to Australia has proved to be a wise decision for Cummings.

Out of favour in the United Kingdom, Cummings and his partner Hannah Doig made the life-changing switch to the Central Coast in January 2022.

The pair haven’t looked back.

An A-Leagues All Stars appearance against LaLiga powerhouse Barcelona, his Socceroos debut and a trip to the World Cup, all while loving life in Gosford.

“Having Hannah coming over with me here has made it so much better. It’s made it easier. It’s the best decision we’ve made,” Cummings said.

Doig: “Wherever Jason goes, I’ll go. We’re with each other 24/7.”

Cummings: “It doesn’t matter where we go. You could put us in the middle of China and we’d love it.”

Doig: “We make the most of everything.”

Cummings: “As long as Hannah is there and we’re together, it’s sound.”

“Life is good,” Doig concluded.

‘I’ll smash you in the ribs’

Cummings was nursing a rib injury heading into last week’s 2-2 draw against Western Sydney Wanderers.

“I’ve had f****** two codeines and that injection, mate,” he said to his Mariners teammates while preparing for kick-off.

“I feel like this injection has done f*** all. I still feel it, mate. F****** agony.”

Having been named on the bench, there was an altercation between Cummings and Wanderers captain Marcelo as the two teams headed down the tunnel towards the change rooms at half-time.

“How is your injury, man?,” Marcelo asked Cummings, who appeared mildly confused.

“I’ll be waiting for you on the pitch,” Marcelo warned.

“Ah, good one lad. F***** hell,” Cummings said.

“I’ll smash you in the ribs,” Marcelo adds.

“Aye, not a problem mate.” Cummings laughed, shaking his head as the pair parted ways.

‘That’s karma lad for f****** me up in training

When Cummings did step on the field, he was on the scoresheet.

The ball took a final touch off Cummings as the second-placed Mariners equalised with 17 minutes remaining.

Nectarios Triantis had wheeled away in celebration, but Cummings was quick to make it clear whose goal it was post-match!

“It’s my goal lad,” Cummings said. “It’s my goal! That’s karma lad for f****** me up in training.”

“Call him up Arnie!”

There was a special guest in the crowd at Industree Group Stadium – Socceroos head coach Graham Arnold.

The former Mariners boss was the man who handed Cummings his international debut in September last year, and included the 26-year-old in his World Cup squad.

Cummings spotted Arnold in the stands after the match, and quickly touted Mariners teammate Harrison Steele for selection.

“Call him up Arnie, he’s the future!”

“You can’t keep a good dog down”

After it was all said and done on Saturday night in Gosford, Cummings had seven simple words.

Produced by KEEPUP Studios and JAMTV, each new episode of the docuseries will debut on Thursday at 7:30pm AEDT on 10 Play, KEEPUP.COM.AU, the KEEPUP app. It will be available on Australia’s fastest growing streaming service, Paramount+, and will then be broadcast on 10 Bold at 2:00pm AEDT on Saturday afternoons as an appetiser for the evening’s Isuzu UTE A-League Men game on the same channel.