Adelaide United goalkeeper Grace Wilson (they/them) felt “something was separating” them from others. Now a “huge weight” has been lifted after coming out as non-binary.
In a momentous step forward for inclusivity in sport, Adelaide United’s Grace Wilson has announced their identity as non-binary.
This courageous revelation marks a significant milestone not only for the player personally but also for the broader football community, promoting diversity and acceptance within the sport.
In their words, it was something that could no longer be denied as the Young Matildas shot-stopper becomes the first openly non-binary player in the A-Leagues.
This is the 18-year-old’s story.
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“My gender and my perception of gender doesn’t fit into the western standards of man or woman,” they said in an interview with Adelaide United.
“For me personally, I don’t really feel anywhere near that. I feel separated from that. Other non-binary people might feel in between or a bit of both, or they may have that fluidity.
“It’s really important to understand every non-binary experiences this differently and they will all have their own stories.”
Wilson signed with Adelaide ahead of the 2021-22 Liberty A-League season.
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They have yet to make a senior first-team appearance in the A-Leagues, learning behind Adelaide’s number one goalkeeper Annalee Grove.
Wilson is in the squad for the Young Matildas’ AFC Under-20 Women’s Asian Cup in Uzbekistan.
“I’ve kind of really understood I’m non-binary for a year and a bit,” they reflected. “But I think looking back, I kind of knew since I was a kid.
“A lot of things as a kid I didn’t see the gender of it. I was a hyper-active kid and I always wanted to play and always wanted to do something with my hands. If one day that meant I was wearing the knight suit and fighting off a dragon or the next I was going to sow, I was simply doing that. I didn’t see that as supposed to be for girls or for boys, but I was taught that unfortunately.
“As I grew up, I got taught that girls are supposed to act one way and look one way. But I always felt super disconnected from that. The only thing that really tied me in was my really long hair, so I was able to do my hair with my friends. That was to me a link that made me feel feminine.
“When I was 16, one of my idols G Flip, they came out as non-binary. I knew about the term and had people in my life who were non-binary. But seeing someone who I looked up to so much come out, it made me reflect on who I was. Seeing someone with long hair, in my mind made them a woman, that really made me question ‘what is this, could I be non-binary?’.
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“But I was 16, I thought nah that is way too difficult to think about at the moment. Then a year later, I did the world’s greatest shave and shaved off all my hair. For the first time seeing myself in the mirror, I was like oh my god, what has happened, where has my femininity gone? The thing that tied me to being a girl, a woman, close to my friends was suddenly gone. I thought, this is a bit strange.
“I remember I walked into a shop and there was this older lady and she greeted me. She said ‘hey miss, how are you going?’. I was like hmmm, not a fan of that. I was shopping around and we were talking and she went, ‘I really miss being a young girl like yourself’. I thought that’s completely wrong. I remember getting back into the car and going, I’m non-binary. That’s it, I can’t deny it anymore.
“That was about a year ago. For me, the biggest issue was fighting those internalised gender stereotypes that I placed on myself and others. Removing all of that, allowed me to fully understand who I was.”
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They added: “It was like this huge weight had lifted because for so long, I had felt something was different. Something was separating me from people and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Then finally understanding it’s because I’ve only existed in these gendered spaces as a non-gendered person.
“I didn’t really realise how angry I was getting when people were mis-gendering me. They didn’t know because I didn’t tell them. I decided I can’t live like that anymore. I want to be fully myself, I want to fully embrace this and I want people to refer in ways that I’m comfortable with.
“When I’m getting mad at my friends for assuming that I’m a woman when I’ve told them nothing different, that’s not healthy. I think finally, I’ve had enough. I just want to be free.”
Wilson also spoke about the importance of pronouns and how powerful they are, highlighting one significant personal experience.
“It’s a really important thing because you don’t realise how much of a difference it makes. I didn’t realise but finally hearing people referring to me as they/them, it’s a phenomenal euphoric feeling,” they said.
“I was in a meeting a couple of weeks ago and we were doing a video review. The coach was talking… I had just let the ball through my legs, I had then gone and tripped over my own feet and looked like an absolute fool.
“But he had used my right pronouns so I was smiling ear to ear. My teammates were probably thinking what are they on about? I’ve just made a fool of myself but all I’m thinking about is they have just used they. That’s phenomenal.
“It can be something as small as when you first meet someone, you go hey Grace Wilson, they/them pronouns. What are your pronouns?
“… it’s just asking that question. It’s not a difficult question, it’s really to slip in there and ask.”
